Meet the team

Starting as a tea boy taught me that every part of funeral service matters. The first telephone call matters. The way someone is welcomed matters. The care given behind the scenes matters just as much as what a family sees on the day of the funeral.

I have worked across the profession rather than learning it from behind a desk. That experience has shaped how I lead Valentines and the standards I expect throughout the business.

We are a family-run funeral director, but ours is not a business inherited through generations. We built Valentines ourselves, based on direct experience, professional knowledge and a determination to provide the standard of care we would want for our own families.

I care deeply about this work because families place an extraordinary level of trust in us. They are asking us to care for someone they love, guide them through decisions they may never have faced before and help them arrange a funeral that feels right.

There is no single correct way to hold a funeral. Some families find comfort in tradition and ceremony. Others want something quieter, simpler or more personal. Faith, culture, family customs and the wishes of the person who has died can all shape what feels appropriate.

Our responsibility is to listen carefully, explain the choices honestly and carry out each family’s wishes with dignity and attention to detail.

My responsibilities extend beyond the day-to-day running of Valentines. I have served as President of the London Association of Funeral Directors, the oldest funeral trade association in the United Kingdom, and now serve as its Immediate Past President.

These roles have allowed me to contribute to professional standards, represent independent funeral directors and support others working in a profession that carries considerable responsibility.

I am also closely involved in the Orpington business community. For me, running an independent funeral home means being part of the community rather than simply operating within it. Trust is built by being present, taking responsibility and contributing to the place where you work.

I also speak openly about the pressures experienced by people working in funeral service and the wider care professions. Those who support bereaved families can encounter trauma, burnout and compassion fatigue. Looking after the people who provide that care is an important part of protecting the standard of service families receive.

My work has included appearances on BBC Panorama, Channel 4 and ITV, where I have spoken about funeral service and the people behind it.

I believe the profession benefits from greater openness. Families should be able to understand how funeral directors work, what standards they should expect and who will be caring for their loved one.

That openness also matters within the profession. We should be prepared to discuss its responsibilities and pressures honestly if we want to maintain high standards and support the people doing the work.

You do not need to have all the answers before contacting us. You do not need to know what kind of funeral you want or understand every decision that may need to be made.

Our job is to meet you where you are, explain what happens next and give you the time and information you need. Nobody should feel processed through a system or pressured into making choices before they are ready.

Whether the funeral is traditional, religious or cultural, simple or highly personal, the same standard applies. The person who has died should be cared for with dignity, and those arranging the funeral should feel listened to, respected and properly supported.

That is the standard Kirsty, our team and I work to every day: being present, doing right by each family and continuing to learn from the responsibility families place in us.

Kirsty and Gary have been together since they were young, and she has supported his career in funeral service from the beginning. They built Valentines together, combining Gary’s experience and energy with Kirsty’s operational focus, considered decision-making and attention to detail.

Although much of her work happens away from public view, it is central to the care families receive. Kirsty supports the team, oversees the systems behind each arrangement and makes sure communication is clear, details are carefully managed and nothing important is overlooked.

She understands that empathy must be supported by competence. Families should feel listened to and respected, but they should also be confident that the practical arrangements are being handled properly.

Kirsty and Gary bring different but complementary strengths to the business. While Gary is often its more visible face, Kirsty provides the structure, consistency and calm that allow Valentines to deliver personal service as it grows.

For Kirsty, good funeral service means being compassionate, dependable and honest. Her role is to make sure the business behind the care works as it should, so every family can feel that they and the person they love are in safe hands.

Through her work, Michelle has met people from many different cultures, religions and beliefs. She takes time to understand the person who has died, the life they lived and what those closest to them would like the funeral service to reflect.

Families do not always know every part of a loved one’s story, and Michelle understands how difficult this can feel. Through thoughtful conversation, she helps them bring together the memories and details they do have - including important relationships, personal qualities, favourite things and the moments that made the person who they were.

She then uses those memories to create a eulogy and funeral service that feels personal, respectful and true to the person being remembered.

Michelle’s close relationship with Valentines is based on shared values: listening carefully, treating every family with dignity and creating funeral services that reflect the individual rather than following a standard formula.