Planning & Support
Frequently asked questions
Clear answers to common questions about first steps, funeral arrangements, cremation, burial, costs, ashes, planning ahead and bereavement support.
These answers cover common starting questions. Funeral arrangements depend on the circumstances, the required paperwork and the choices made, so follow the links for fuller guidance or contact us if the answer needs to be applied to a particular situation.
When someone dies
Yes. You can contact Valentines and begin discussing the next steps before registration. The death must first be verified, and the legal authority required for burial or cremation must be in place before the funeral can proceed.
No. You can begin making provisional arrangements while a hospital, coroner or mortuary process is continuing. A coroner’s authorisation does not always mean the mortuary can release the person immediately; the receiving and releasing organisations must also complete their processes.
If emergency services have not attended, call 999 and follow the operator’s instructions. If the death has been verified and you need immediate guidance or wish us to bring the person into our care, use the 24-hour assistance number for our Orpington branch.
Arranging the funeral
The four main types are attended cremation, direct cremation, attended burial and direct burial. The choice depends on whether the person is cremated or buried and whether people attend the committal.
No. We will identify decisions that affect the date, venue or paperwork and explain which personal choices can wait.
Yes. Different beliefs, cultures and family traditions can be brought together respectfully. Tell us which practices are essential and who should help guide them.
No. Embalming is not carried out automatically. It may be considered in some circumstances, including certain visits, delays or repatriation requirements. We will explain what it involves, any alternatives and ask for permission before it is carried out.
Many families choose to visit and others prefer not to. Visits are arranged by appointment, and what is possible can depend on the circumstances and the person’s condition. We will explain this honestly and sensitively.
Costs and financial help
The total normally combines Valentines’ charges, fees paid to other organisations and optional personal choices. We will provide a written itemised estimate before arrangements are confirmed.
You may be eligible for a Funeral Expenses Payment if you receive certain benefits, although it will not usually cover every cost. Other support may apply in particular circumstances. Check the current rules on GOV.UK and tell us early if cost is a concern.
The Children’s Funeral Fund for England can help with eligible costs for a child under 18 or a baby stillborn after the 24th week of pregnancy, where the burial or cremation takes place in England. Check current coverage on GOV.UK.
Cremation, ashes and memorials
Yes. The person is cremated in the coffin. Coffins are not removed and reused. The coffin must be accepted as suitable by the crematorium.
You do not have to decide immediately. The ashes can be kept safely while you consider keeping, scattering, burial, division, keepsakes or a memorial. We will confirm collection or return arrangements.
The requirements depend on the place. Ask the landowner or site manager for permission on land you do not own and check local rules for cemeteries, parks, waterways and other managed sites. Do not scatter non-biodegradable items with the ashes.
The cemetery or churchyard sets the rules and may require a settling period and formal permission. An authorised memorial mason can confirm the process for the particular grave.
Planning and support
No. A wishes record describes preferences but does not by itself pay for or guarantee the funeral. A pre-paid funeral plan is a separate regulated financial product.
Yes. Date the new version and replace older copies so that the people likely to arrange the funeral know which one is current.
Our support page links to NHS and GOV.UK guidance, national bereavement organisations, urgent-help information and, once confirmed, current details of the Valentines Bereavement Cafe.
The family may have chosen not to publish one, to restrict the service details or to use another platform. We cannot disclose private funeral information without the appropriate permission.
Talk to someone who can help
If someone has died or you need immediate guidance, call either of our branch numbers for 24-hour assistance.
You do not need to know what to ask. We will take you through the next steps.
For non-urgent enquiries, you can request an estimate or contact us online. We will respond during office hours 09:00-16:00.