Planning & Support
Bereavement support
Find bereavement support, trusted national guidance and information about our local Bereavement Cafe.
Grief affects everyone in different ways - emotionally, physically and practically, and it does not follow a timetable or pattern. You may want to talk, spend time with people who have had similar experiences, ask for help with everyday tasks or seek professional support.
Whilst we are not a counselling, clinical or crisis service, Valentines can listen and signpost you to services such as those below to help you find the support you need.
A place to start
- Talk to someone you trust, your GP or another healthcare professional if you are struggling to cope.
- Use NHS guidance (opens in a new tab) to understand common responses to bereavement and when to seek further help.
- Consider a bereavement organisation, counsellor or peer-support group if you would prefer support outside your family or friendship group - they can assist with emotional support as well as day-to-day support where grief can make daily routines harder to manage.
- If the loss of your loved one was sudden, traumatic, by suicide, or involved a baby, child or young person, there are a number of specialist groups who operate locally and nationally and help with these different aspects of bereavement. See our resources page for a list.
Bereavement Cafe
The Valentines Bereavement Cafe is an informal, welcoming space for anyone who has been bereaved. You do not need to have arranged a funeral with Valentines to attend.
Orpington Bereavement Cafe
Meets on the last Thursday of every month, except August and December, from 11:45 AM to 1:30 PM.
Orpington Village Hall, 311 High Street, Orpington.
It is a free, drop-in space offering tea, coffee, biscuits and support from trained and qualified counsellors. There is no need to book.
The bereavement cafe was jointly founded in 2017 by Michelle Harvey, Life Celebrant (opens in a new tab) and Valentines Family Funeral Directors. Follow @thebereavementcafe on Instagram (opens in a new tab) for updates.
Trusted bereavement support
NHS: grief after bereavement or loss (opens in a new tab)
Information about grief, self-help and when to seek medical support.
GOV.UK: bereavement help and support (opens in a new tab)
A current directory of national and specialist services.
Cruse Bereavement Support (opens in a new tab)
Bereavement information and support services.
Samaritans (opens in a new tab)
Call 116 123 free, day or night, if you need someone to listen.
If you need urgent help
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E. If you need urgent mental-health help but it is not an emergency, use the NHS urgent mental-health guidance or call NHS 111 and select the mental-health option where available.
Get urgent help for mental health (NHS) (opens in a new tab)
Remembering someone
Remembrance may continue through a donation page, online tribute, photographs, a memorial gathering, ashes, keepsakes or a permanent memorial. These can be arranged at the time of the funeral or considered later. There is no need to decide everything immediately.
Frequently asked questions
No. People can experience grief in very different ways, and feelings may change from day to day. You do not have to follow a set sequence or timetable. Seek support if you are worried about how you are coping or would find it helpful to talk.
The NHS advises speaking to a GP if you are struggling to cope with stress, anxiety or low mood, if low mood has lasted more than two weeks, or if the things you are trying are not helping. Use urgent services sooner if you or someone else may be at risk.
Yes. The Bereavement Cafe is open to all, and the external services listed on our site are not limited in any way to Valentines clients. You can check each organisation’s service details on its own website.
The bereavement cafe offers bereavement support from trained and qualified counsellors.
Talk to someone who can help
If someone has died or you need immediate guidance, call either of our branch numbers for 24-hour assistance.
You do not need to know what to ask. We will take you through the next steps.
For non-urgent enquiries, you can request an estimate or contact us online. We will respond during office hours 09:00-16:00.